Imagine a way to resolve conflict, correct a wrong, assert your rights or work through a problem where the parties define their issues, control the agenda and create their own workable solutions. The best part is that once the parties enter into an agreement, so long as it is in accordance with the law, it can be approved by the Court system, and will have the same force and effect as a Judge’s ruling. It will establish a way for the people involved to effectively deal with each other moving forward.
Of course, I’m referring to mediation. It has application to many types of disagreements that people find themselves involved in from how to deal with your neighbor’s barking dog to more serious situations such as divorce, elder or business disputes. Recently, mediation has been used in the potential lockout of NFL players. This is a complex situation involving thousands of people, sophisticated issues and billions of dollars. It’s effectiveness as a communication tool and lower costs are two reasons why mediation is an attractive alternative to traditional litigation.
For those of you following the mortgage and foreclosure mess in Cook County and around the country, here is a link to last night’s 60 Minutes.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504803_162-20049744-10391709.html?tag=cbsnewsMainColumnArea.0
Last Sunday, The New York Times reported on a small company that provides funds for people to get divorced in exchange for a percentage of the settlement. The founder of the company, that is located in Los Angeles, used the proceeds from her divorce to start this business.
Her clients are women, who do not have access to money to get divorced because they are stay at home moms. The husbands control the money and often own their own business. The women need money to hire lawyers, investigators and forensic accountants to find the marital assets, and to insure that they get their “fair and equitable” share. The typical client has a marital estate worth between $2 and $15 million. According to the founder, this is the amount, that, when split, causes the biggest changes in a person’s lifestyle. Not to mention, a decent return on her investment. It is not clear what percentage of the settlement the borrower pays once the divorce is final.
I’m trying to figure out whether this is brilliant or morally reprehensible. What do you think?
I have been mediating for this program that was started in April, 2010. With over 52,000 foreclosure proceedings started this year alone in Cook County, the courts are overwhelmed. This program was designed to allow borrowers and the lender or service provider work out a deal between themselves.
There are very specific participation guidelines. Foreclosure proceedings must have been started. The defendant/homeowner must request it. The home must be owner occupied, as the principal residence and it must be four units or less.
There is a strict timeline for mediation to be completed. Foreclosure proceedings continue during this time, so that the pressure stays on the parties to resolve if possible. The parties are mediating one of the following issues: loan modification or if that is not possible, a dignified exit from the home.
Couples who are divorcing and facing foreclosure in Cook County at the same time should be aware of this program. Since the borrowers will actually be talking to an authorized representative of the lender, it is an opportunity for the spouse who wants to stay in the house to find out if that is possible, and under what circumstances. Real numbers are part of the mediation discussion. If it will not be possible for a spouse to remain in the home post-divorce, the mediation can help devise an exit strategy that leaves the homeowner with a feeling of being treated respectfully.
The division of property can be an emotional powderkeg during divorce. The marital home is often the single largest asset. When it is in danger of being foreclosed upon, there can be even more emotional upheaval. The Cook County Foreclosure Mediation Program can help by providing concrete information to couples about the status of their loan. This can assist couples in working out their financial lives as they forward. It may help reduce some of the stress associated with divorce. At the very least, both parties will know where they stand as far as their home is concerned.
Illinois divorce is governed by the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act. In it are the grounds upon which divorce can be granted. They include adultery, abandonment, drug & alcohol abuse and a few others. These are known as the “fault” grounds for divorce.
Illinois also offers “irreconcilable differences” as a grounds for divorce. This is commonly referred to as “no-fault”, and means that communication between the spouses has broken down, and that their differences are so great, that they can not get along together as a cohesive unit. Further, the statute requires that these differences to have existed for 2 years before filing for divorce.This is the stated reason why most people in Illinois get divorced.
A divorce can either be “contested” or “uncontested”. In a contested divorce, one of the parties affirmatively opposes ending the marriage. Conversely, neither party opposes the dissolution of the marriage when it is “uncontested”.
It takes much longer to get divorced if it is contested. If, a couple chooses to divorce based on irreconcilable differences (no-fault) and it is uncontested, then the statute allows them to waive the two year waiting period. It permits divorce if the couple has been apart for 6 months.
Why mediation works.
This was a 12 year study on what happens to couples who mediated their divorces. The non-residential parent was more involved in his/her child’s life as compared with those who divorced by an adversarial process. The residential parent gave the non-residential parent higher grades in all areas of parenting. This proves that those parents are working together to co-parent. This is positive news!
Please read my article on collaborative law in this week’s online edition of Make It Better. Collaborative Law is a relatively new approach to divorce, one that empowers people to frame and resolve their own issues in a way that is best for their family.
Make It Better: Can You Divorce Without A Fight?
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